SKD Bag of Dicks

(35 reviews)
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SKD Bag of Dicks

Every so often we see new products out there that make us shake our heads in dismay and say: "That's about as cool as a Bag of Dicks." Well, one evening this past January, several members of Team SKD were talking about such products in an outdoor hot tub during St Louis's worst snow storm in decades (true story). After a spirited round of libations and various shenanigans (including making snow angels in our swim trunks), we decided we would take it upon ourselves to bless this world with an ACTUAL BAG OF DICKS. It dawned on us that each of us had countless buddies in our lives that we would love to order such a product for- delightfully imagining the look of surprise and sheer terror on their faces when they would dump out the contents of said Bag in front of unsuspecting friends and family.

Fast forward 2 weeks, and "No shit, there we were..." at the Adult Video Network convention in Vegas, registered as buyers in the Porn industry's biggest trade show. We were on the hunt to procure thousands of quality prosthetic "members" to make this dream a reality. The laughs kept coming throughout the process- imagine having to explain why we were importing thousands of dildos to the female freight agent we've been dealing with for years, or our accounts payable manager on what it was she was paying for. Good times were being had throughout the process, so we knew we were on the right track! So, without further ado, we proudly introduce to you our latest product that requires no explanation- the SKD Bag of Dicks.

If you don't already know exactly who you are going to be buying this for, then you're prolly on this website by accident and it's time to move along. For everyone else, each SKD Bag of Dicks features a top-quality Made in USA camouflaged drawstring satchel that will serve as a great catch-all for knick-knacks and widgets, with a military-issue themed instruction patch on its care and use. Each SKD Bag of Dicks also comes with a large loop fastener field for the integration of your favorite morale patches or name tape. Each SKD Bag of Dicks comes complete with 7 (SEVEN) FDA approved silicone dildos (imported) of different colors and stiffness. All SKD Bag of Dicks sales are final and no refunds are available.
Just how large are these dildos, you ask, sir?  In order to provide you the answers you seek, let me take you on a journey.  Open your mind. Let these words stare keenly through the fiber of your being, for without them, one cannot fathom the gravity of the answers he requires.
It all started with a vision; an episode of enlightenment, if you will. The subject to which this illumination of the mind occured, envisioned such a poignant scene from the souls long past elders, that he knew he must gather only the paragon of personal massage devices.  Items of such magnitude, such immensity; immeasurable to us feeble humans.  Massive. Boundless. Bulky. Monstrous. And thus began the search. Traveling beyond the charted regions known to man, he entered the perfect series of words into the search bar of  And behold, if the most exquisite specimens should appear before his eyes much like the vision that began his journey.
He assembled them.  He assembled them like gravity assembled the gasses in the eternal void, creating star, after star, after star. Because of his generosity and foresight, we are graced with such a gift that cannot be compared. ask me, "how large are they?".........
about six inches in length with a girth of about an inch and a quarter.
So.....on the small side


  • 3
    Seriously Smalls

    Posted by Rambo Ray on 18th Sep 2020

    Uh. My fiancé showed me this and I didn’t know what I was looking at. I am A retired mustang female Marine. Seen a lot of weird crap. This, does not make sense. Your “dildos,” honestly unrealistic. Too bright.

  • 5
    It's a bag of dicks

    Posted by Unknown on 20th Jul 2020

    I've bought three of these, two as gifts, and they never fail to delight. It's a bag of dicks.

  • 5
    Bag of dicks

    Posted by Bryce Bowcut on 24th Feb 2018

    Awesome gag gift

  • 5
    Bag of Awesome

    Posted by Unknown on 21st Feb 2018

    Recently purchased the bag of dicks from SKD tactical. I work with an array of police and military personnel and let me tell you, there is no greater joy than opening a bag of dildos and unleashing PandoraÕs dick on your coworkers for the unforseable future. Good color choices. 10/10

  • 5
    Best bag of dicks a guy could ask for.

    Posted by SERGEANT CANDITO on 11th Feb 2018

    nothing but excellence here. worth the purchase. bought these as a retirement gift for an E6 who just got out. quality of these dicks is unparalleled. It'd be cool to see other patterns for the bags but hey, it's a bag of dicks.

  • 4
    Good replacement for colon hydrotherapy hose heads

    Posted by Gets Ya on 12th Nov 2017

    We run the west coasts most frequently visited colon hydrotherapy chain. Chinese made replacement heads for our hydrotherapy machines were $87.50 each. BOD heads are way cheaper. Contrary to Susan's objection that none of our customers wanted to see a big purple dick with a hose coming out of one end flying towards their 2 cheeked duckbill, nothing could have been more well received in practice. Business is up 65% in our California clinics, and the new BOD heads are much tougher than the original boring parts that shipped with the machines from China. In fact, our head clinician is confident the new BOD heads will withstand having the switch on the pump gear set to "Firefighting" mode for the first time. We did however have to shoo away some Hollywood actors and actresses from the medical waste dumpster out back letting them know that the Bag of Dicks dildoes were for anal use only and should not be ingested orally. Especially not the used ones. Nasty bastards.

  • 4
    Bag of Dicks.

    Posted by Incoherent on 29th May 2017

    Make another version where the dicks are candies. They'll be more pleasurable to suck on too.

  • 5
    Best Dicks I've had since I found my own.

    Posted by Jim Young on 1st May 2017

    Be the first on your block, amaze your closest friends or even your enemies. Send a bag to the crazy cat lady next door. For the orally fixated get a bag for yourself to have just in case you need something to suck on. The Bag of Dicks rocks!

  • 5
    What's more fun than a bag of dicks?

    Posted by That guy standing behind you on 16th Apr 2017

    I recently joined an underground dick fighting club and was in need of some tools. This bag of dicks was a convenient way to get me in the fight. The dicks themselves are fairly boring, same bunch of dicks just in different colors. Fear not though. With a little imagination, 550 cord and some 100mph tape I was able to fashion some dickchakus, a double ended baton of justice, and a fearsome bayonet. I've since been crushing the competition and should be getting a title fight soon.