BALS Mk-1, Gen 2 (Patented)
SKD Bag of Dicks
Every so often we see new products out there that make us shake our heads in dismay and say: "That's about as cool as a Bag of Dicks." Well, one evening this past January, several members of Team SKD were talking about such products in an outdoor hot tub during St Louis's worst snow storm in decades (true story). After a spirited round of libations and various shenanigans (including making snow angels in our swim trunks), we decided we would take it upon ourselves to bless this world with an ACTUAL BAG OF DICKS. It dawned on us that each of us had countless buddies in our lives that we would love to order such a product for- delightfully imagining the look of surprise and sheer terror on their faces when they would dump out the contents of said Bag in front of unsuspecting friends and family.
Fast forward 2 weeks, and "No shit, there we were..." at the Adult Video Network convention in Vegas, registered as buyers in the Porn industry's biggest trade show. We were on the hunt to procure thousands of quality prosthetic "members" to make this dream a reality. The laughs kept coming throughout the process- imagine having to explain why we were importing thousands of dildos to the female freight agent we've been dealing with for years, or our accounts payable manager on what it was she was paying for. Good times were being had throughout the process, so we knew we were on the right track! So, without further ado, we proudly introduce to you our latest product that requires no explanation- the SKD Bag of Dicks.
Uh. My fiancé showed me this and I didn’t know what I was looking at. I am A retired mustang female Marine. Seen a lot of weird crap. This, does not make sense. Your “dildos,” honestly unrealistic. Too bright.
I've bought three of these, two as gifts, and they never fail to delight. It's a bag of dicks.
Awesome gag gift
Recently purchased the bag of dicks from SKD tactical. I work with an array of police and military personnel and let me tell you, there is no greater joy than opening a bag of dildos and unleashing PandoraÕs dick on your coworkers for the unforseable future. Good color choices. 10/10
nothing but excellence here. worth the purchase. bought these as a retirement gift for an E6 who just got out. quality of these dicks is unparalleled. It'd be cool to see other patterns for the bags but hey, it's a bag of dicks.
We run the west coasts most frequently visited colon hydrotherapy chain. Chinese made replacement heads for our hydrotherapy machines were $87.50 each. BOD heads are way cheaper. Contrary to Susan's objection that none of our customers wanted to see a big purple dick with a hose coming out of one end flying towards their 2 cheeked duckbill, nothing could have been more well received in practice. Business is up 65% in our California clinics, and the new BOD heads are much tougher than the original boring parts that shipped with the machines from China. In fact, our head clinician is confident the new BOD heads will withstand having the switch on the pump gear set to "Firefighting" mode for the first time. We did however have to shoo away some Hollywood actors and actresses from the medical waste dumpster out back letting them know that the Bag of Dicks dildoes were for anal use only and should not be ingested orally. Especially not the used ones. Nasty bastards.
Make another version where the dicks are candies. They'll be more pleasurable to suck on too.
Be the first on your block, amaze your closest friends or even your enemies. Send a bag to the crazy cat lady next door. For the orally fixated get a bag for yourself to have just in case you need something to suck on. The Bag of Dicks rocks!
I recently joined an underground dick fighting club and was in need of some tools. This bag of dicks was a convenient way to get me in the fight. The dicks themselves are fairly boring, same bunch of dicks just in different colors. Fear not though. With a little imagination, 550 cord and some 100mph tape I was able to fashion some dickchakus, a double ended baton of justice, and a fearsome bayonet. I've since been crushing the competition and should be getting a title fight soon.