SKD Bag of Dicks

SKD
SKU:
SKD.808
$49.95
(35 reviews)
Current Stock:

SKD Bag of Dicks

Every so often we see new products out there that make us shake our heads in dismay and say: "That's about as cool as a Bag of Dicks." Well, one evening this past January, several members of Team SKD were talking about such products in an outdoor hot tub during St Louis's worst snow storm in decades (true story). After a spirited round of libations and various shenanigans (including making snow angels in our swim trunks), we decided we would take it upon ourselves to bless this world with an ACTUAL BAG OF DICKS. It dawned on us that each of us had countless buddies in our lives that we would love to order such a product for- delightfully imagining the look of surprise and sheer terror on their faces when they would dump out the contents of said Bag in front of unsuspecting friends and family.


Fast forward 2 weeks, and "No shit, there we were..." at the Adult Video Network convention in Vegas, registered as buyers in the Porn industry's biggest trade show. We were on the hunt to procure thousands of quality prosthetic "members" to make this dream a reality. The laughs kept coming throughout the process- imagine having to explain why we were importing thousands of dildos to the female freight agent we've been dealing with for years, or our accounts payable manager on what it was she was paying for. Good times were being had throughout the process, so we knew we were on the right track! So, without further ado, we proudly introduce to you our latest product that requires no explanation- the SKD Bag of Dicks.

 
If you don't already know exactly who you are going to be buying this for, then you're prolly on this website by accident and it's time to move along. For everyone else, each SKD Bag of Dicks features a top-quality Made in USA camouflaged drawstring satchel that will serve as a great catch-all for knick-knacks and widgets, with a military-issue themed instruction patch on its care and use. Each SKD Bag of Dicks also comes with a large loop fastener field for the integration of your favorite morale patches or name tape. Each SKD Bag of Dicks comes complete with 7 (SEVEN) FDA approved silicone dildos (imported) of different colors and stiffness. All SKD Bag of Dicks sales are final and no refunds are available.
 
Just how large are these dildos, you ask, sir?  In order to provide you the answers you seek, let me take you on a journey.  Open your mind. Let these words stare keenly through the fiber of your being, for without them, one cannot fathom the gravity of the answers he requires.
 
It all started with a vision; an episode of enlightenment, if you will. The subject to which this illumination of the mind occured, envisioned such a poignant scene from the souls long past elders, that he knew he must gather only the paragon of personal massage devices.  Items of such magnitude, such immensity; immeasurable to us feeble humans.  Massive. Boundless. Bulky. Monstrous. And thus began the search. Traveling beyond the charted regions known to man, he entered the perfect series of words into the search bar of google.com.  And behold, if the most exquisite specimens should appear before his eyes much like the vision that began his journey.
 
He assembled them.  He assembled them like gravity assembled the gasses in the eternal void, creating star, after star, after star. Because of his generosity and foresight, we are graced with such a gift that cannot be compared.
 
Now.....you ask me, "how large are they?".........
about six inches in length with a girth of about an inch and a quarter.
So.....on the small side

Reviews

  • 5
    Well... It's a bag of Dicks....

    Posted by ShamelessTR on 6th Apr 2017

    A lot of things can go through a man's mind when he is confronted with a literal bag of dicks... Our natural reaction was that we know just the dick lover/combat cook.... He was very appreciative and we shares way too many laughs on the situation. Thank you for your hard work in offering such a product.

  • 5
    Perfect!

    Posted by Unknown on 27th Dec 2016

    Fast shipping. Hilarious gift!

  • 5
    THE BEST

    Posted by Edwin K on 1st Aug 2016

    It's one thing to read about it, but an entirely different animal to see it. We got this for a co-worker as a going away present to take with him overseas for training. The look on his face was priceless. I'm hoping that he takes interesting, artistic photos with these imposed upon the European countryside.

  • 5
    Would purchase again for friends!

    Posted by Unknown on 11th Jul 2016

    Loads of fun.

  • 5
    Morale Booster

    Posted by BOD Phantom on 14th Feb 2016

    So I put this Bag O' Dicks on my bosses desk after an unnecessary a$$ chewing. I left it anonymously and found that it surprisingly lightened his mood for the rest of my rotation. No sure if he read the warnings prior to use but it certainly made him less anal-retentive. The Bag O' Dicks Pantom was created that day and is alive and well in Afghanistan! Cheers to you SKD for a wonderful and effective product! -BOD Phantom

  • 5
    Best Christmas Present ever!

    Posted by Anthony on 21st Dec 2015

    I bought this to give to my jerkoff brother in law for Christmas, i cant wait to see his face!

  • 5
    The dick bag

    Posted by Unknown on 21st Dec 2015

    Even though I knew I had a bag of dicks shipped to my home, I was still happy as a kid on Christmas morning. Couldn't have been more pleased to find a bag of dicks on my doorstep. I was more surprised to discover that these are some big dicks; big floppy dicks. I bought these dicks as a gift for my team lead's bday and am certain that I'll have several thrown at me. Can't wait.

  • 5
    Great gag gift - fast shipping.

    Posted by Unknown on 8th Oct 2015

    Great for a bachelor party gag - threw them in his luggage on the way to the airport!

  • 5
    This BOD delivers

    Posted by Unknown on 3rd Apr 2015

    I ordered these flawless shafts of freedom for my old PL who had just received orders to 3ID. He recently informed me that utilizing the dicks from the bag prior to reporting enabled him to hit the ground running - bow-legged, but running. After seeing how well he was able to take the many rectal penetrations 3ID thrust his way, the battalion commander has decided to begin using the BOD as a graphic training aid - a very graphic training aid. Best product on the market today for the post-war Army. A+++++++++