SKD Bag of Dicks

(35 reviews)
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SKD Bag of Dicks

Every so often we see new products out there that make us shake our heads in dismay and say: "That's about as cool as a Bag of Dicks." Well, one evening this past January, several members of Team SKD were talking about such products in an outdoor hot tub during St Louis's worst snow storm in decades (true story). After a spirited round of libations and various shenanigans (including making snow angels in our swim trunks), we decided we would take it upon ourselves to bless this world with an ACTUAL BAG OF DICKS. It dawned on us that each of us had countless buddies in our lives that we would love to order such a product for- delightfully imagining the look of surprise and sheer terror on their faces when they would dump out the contents of said Bag in front of unsuspecting friends and family.

Fast forward 2 weeks, and "No shit, there we were..." at the Adult Video Network convention in Vegas, registered as buyers in the Porn industry's biggest trade show. We were on the hunt to procure thousands of quality prosthetic "members" to make this dream a reality. The laughs kept coming throughout the process- imagine having to explain why we were importing thousands of dildos to the female freight agent we've been dealing with for years, or our accounts payable manager on what it was she was paying for. Good times were being had throughout the process, so we knew we were on the right track! So, without further ado, we proudly introduce to you our latest product that requires no explanation- the SKD Bag of Dicks.

If you don't already know exactly who you are going to be buying this for, then you're prolly on this website by accident and it's time to move along. For everyone else, each SKD Bag of Dicks features a top-quality Made in USA camouflaged drawstring satchel that will serve as a great catch-all for knick-knacks and widgets, with a military-issue themed instruction patch on its care and use. Each SKD Bag of Dicks also comes with a large loop fastener field for the integration of your favorite morale patches or name tape. Each SKD Bag of Dicks comes complete with 7 (SEVEN) FDA approved silicone dildos (imported) of different colors and stiffness. All SKD Bag of Dicks sales are final and no refunds are available.
Just how large are these dildos, you ask, sir?  In order to provide you the answers you seek, let me take you on a journey.  Open your mind. Let these words stare keenly through the fiber of your being, for without them, one cannot fathom the gravity of the answers he requires.
It all started with a vision; an episode of enlightenment, if you will. The subject to which this illumination of the mind occured, envisioned such a poignant scene from the souls long past elders, that he knew he must gather only the paragon of personal massage devices.  Items of such magnitude, such immensity; immeasurable to us feeble humans.  Massive. Boundless. Bulky. Monstrous. And thus began the search. Traveling beyond the charted regions known to man, he entered the perfect series of words into the search bar of  And behold, if the most exquisite specimens should appear before his eyes much like the vision that began his journey.
He assembled them.  He assembled them like gravity assembled the gasses in the eternal void, creating star, after star, after star. Because of his generosity and foresight, we are graced with such a gift that cannot be compared. ask me, "how large are they?".........
about six inches in length with a girth of about an inch and a quarter.


  • 5
    This BOD delivers

    Posted by Unknown on 3rd Apr 2015

    I ordered these flawless shafts of freedom for my old PL who had just received orders to 3ID. He recently informed me that utilizing the dicks from the bag prior to reporting enabled him to hit the ground running - bow-legged, but running. After seeing how well he was able to take the many rectal penetrations 3ID thrust his way, the battalion commander has decided to begin using the BOD as a graphic training aid - a very graphic training aid. Best product on the market today for the post-war Army. A+++++++++

  • 5
    Great Gift for a Boss

    Posted by eddy on 3rd Apr 2015

    These are a little.... bigger..... than the picture led me to believe, but the whole package was great. Delivered them to our boss who is a prior Marine and could appreciate the Desert MARPAT pattern as well as the fellas inside. Great quality, and I am sure that its durability is top notch.

  • 5
    Top quality Bag of Dicks!!!!!

    Posted by Jesse James on 3rd Apr 2015

    What can I say that hasn't already been said. Everyone that sees it wishes that there were more dicks per day of the week, but it always seems to work out fine. Also, to be accurate, certain dicks should be bigger than others. By far the best product of SHOT 2015. The only thing cooler would be another bag!!!!

  • 5
    Top Quality Bag of Dicks

    Posted by scott lavers on 3rd Apr 2015

    Might I suggest a belt looped or MOLLE version, so these last ditch blunt force weapons can more easily deployed!

  • 5

    Posted by Nicholas Barker on 3rd Apr 2015

    This is the most innovative piece of gear I have yet to see. I have yet to meet anyone who hasn't had a good laugh from either reading the government style label or what lies inside!

  • 5
    D-bag of dicks

    Posted by Unknown on 3rd Apr 2015

    The look on my friends face was priceless. Best gift ever.

  • 5
    SKD dicks are best dicks

    Posted by Cal on 3rd Apr 2015

    I'm no stranger to a handful of dicks and these were great. Not too long that things got weird and just the right girth for the job at hand. The flavor of the raspberry one was right on....great job SKD!

  • 5

    Posted by Joel Yeager on 3rd Apr 2015

    I thought the price was a little stiff so not exactly the best bang for your buck, but the quality is hard to beat.

  • 5
    So freaking awesome

    Posted by Ben on 3rd Apr 2015

    So I bought this for a guy in the office who is basically a bag of dicks. When my wife say it she nearly left me out of the shear stupidity of this bag. I love the shit out of it.