SKD Bag of Dicks

(35 reviews)
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SKD Bag of Dicks

Every so often we see new products out there that make us shake our heads in dismay and say: "That's about as cool as a Bag of Dicks." Well, one evening this past January, several members of Team SKD were talking about such products in an outdoor hot tub during St Louis's worst snow storm in decades (true story). After a spirited round of libations and various shenanigans (including making snow angels in our swim trunks), we decided we would take it upon ourselves to bless this world with an ACTUAL BAG OF DICKS. It dawned on us that each of us had countless buddies in our lives that we would love to order such a product for- delightfully imagining the look of surprise and sheer terror on their faces when they would dump out the contents of said Bag in front of unsuspecting friends and family.

Fast forward 2 weeks, and "No shit, there we were..." at the Adult Video Network convention in Vegas, registered as buyers in the Porn industry's biggest trade show. We were on the hunt to procure thousands of quality prosthetic "members" to make this dream a reality. The laughs kept coming throughout the process- imagine having to explain why we were importing thousands of dildos to the female freight agent we've been dealing with for years, or our accounts payable manager on what it was she was paying for. Good times were being had throughout the process, so we knew we were on the right track! So, without further ado, we proudly introduce to you our latest product that requires no explanation- the SKD Bag of Dicks.

If you don't already know exactly who you are going to be buying this for, then you're prolly on this website by accident and it's time to move along. For everyone else, each SKD Bag of Dicks features a top-quality Made in USA camouflaged drawstring satchel that will serve as a great catch-all for knick-knacks and widgets, with a military-issue themed instruction patch on its care and use. Each SKD Bag of Dicks also comes with a large loop fastener field for the integration of your favorite morale patches or name tape. Each SKD Bag of Dicks comes complete with 7 (SEVEN) FDA approved silicone dildos (imported) of different colors and stiffness. All SKD Bag of Dicks sales are final and no refunds are available.
Just how large are these dildos, you ask, sir?  In order to provide you the answers you seek, let me take you on a journey.  Open your mind. Let these words stare keenly through the fiber of your being, for without them, one cannot fathom the gravity of the answers he requires.
It all started with a vision; an episode of enlightenment, if you will. The subject to which this illumination of the mind occured, envisioned such a poignant scene from the souls long past elders, that he knew he must gather only the paragon of personal massage devices.  Items of such magnitude, such immensity; immeasurable to us feeble humans.  Massive. Boundless. Bulky. Monstrous. And thus began the search. Traveling beyond the charted regions known to man, he entered the perfect series of words into the search bar of  And behold, if the most exquisite specimens should appear before his eyes much like the vision that began his journey.
He assembled them.  He assembled them like gravity assembled the gasses in the eternal void, creating star, after star, after star. Because of his generosity and foresight, we are graced with such a gift that cannot be compared. ask me, "how large are they?".........
about six inches in length with a girth of about an inch and a quarter.
So.....on the small side


  • 5
    Big Bag of Dicks

    Posted by Richard Dickens on 3rd Apr 2015

    Came with high quality dicks. excellent projectile weapons. 10/10 would buy again

  • 5
    Excellent christmas decorations!

    Posted by Amy on 3rd Apr 2015

    I bought this because I could not imagine a situation in which this was not an entertaining answer. "What did you just hit me with?" A bag of dicks. "What is that on the mantle?" A bag of dicks. "Ooh, a present, what did you get me?" A bag of dicks. Now I need a new one, because when an old fling stole my car (WTF?) and then asked me for bail money (double WTF?), all I could think to say was, "I'm bringing you that bail money you asked for. It will come in a camouflage bag. Make sure you open it in front of everybody..." The next batch, I think I will hollow out one end and insert a small LED and use them for decorations. My only real complaint is that there should be more colors.

  • 5
    A Most Glorious Bag of Dicks

    Posted by Aaron Bailey on 4th Feb 2015

    I bought this as a birthday present for my cousin. SKD included a hand drawn happy birthday card. This product, unlike most of our lives, is exactly what it says it is. It is a bag of dicks, comprised of a bag, and some dicks. The label is hilarious (who knew dicks had a maximum velocity?), the bag of high quality, and the dicks are...well, dicks. The only way this product could be better is if it was compatible with MOLLE/MALICE for use on plate carriers and battle belts. I think I need a few more.

  • 5
    High Speed-Little Bit of Drag

    Posted by Matt on 27th Jan 2015

    I can truly vouch for this product and would not stake my life on any other bag of phallus. I know from first hand experience the effectiveness of this tool in psyops on my ODA in... denied areas. 10/10 would not operate without.

  • 5
    Thanks SKD, saved me some serious money

    Posted by Operator on 27th Jan 2015

    This is critical kit for anyone doing SOF rotations in Afghanistan right now. You know how it is, hanging out tanning at the VSO acting cool with your green Oakley lenses on and BOOM - seven fine ass ladies show up on some sort of engagement team. With the SKD BOD I don't have to worry about being on the hook for a few thousand in child support every year, I can just throw it into the wookie tent and sit back with a camera. Not worrying about UCMJ for sending an entire team of married women home pregnant gives me more time to work out and laugh at the Rangers for having real jobs. Thanks SKD.

  • 5
    Top shelf product, but buy all you can. Now!

    Posted by No f-bdy bs on 27th Jan 2015

    My only gripe, is that the BoDs is not offered in bulk. Say, 12bags. Anyhow, buy all you can now. BnG crew will be here shortly. After that, Skd will be sold out for months.

  • 3

    Posted by Not Really Anonymous on 27th Jan 2015

    I saw the title and got so excited that I bought one in Woodland without really paying attention to the description. I couldn't wait to throw that bag of softies in someone's face! SKD was great and I got my order quicker than a hooker heads to the shower after a trip to brown town. Unfortunately, when I opened up the bag, I was disappointed that there were just dildos inside. While I didn't expect it to be a bag full of Porn star dicks, I assumed that there would be a bunch of flaccid dismembered members contained in the bag. I'm not hard to please. I'm not asking for Ron Jeremy-esque dicks, but come on, at least throw a bunch of Asian ones in there! While I understand that a "Bag of Your Wife's Best Friends" or "Bag of Curosity and Exploration" don't have the same ring to them, at least put an asterisk behind "Dicks" in the title!

  • 5

    Posted by Unknown on 21st Jan 2015